However black or dark it feels, you have to keep going. Because you don't know what joy is around the corner.
I wasn't prepared at all for motherhood. And I was not prepared remotely for how much love I would feel for my children. And when my children were born, it was as if you're sort of like injected with some kind of like superpower, you know, like all of a sudden you become a lioness or something. You become someone who's prepared to die for something. And this feeling was immense and I didn't know what to do with the feeling. And it was sort of like crazy because it was everywhere. It was like all around. And I wanted to somehow understand it. And so I was writing that into my poetry.
That's what the poems are about.
What I'm saying to people is to never give up. However black or dark it feels, you have to keep going. Because you don't know what joy is around the corner. That's what I'm saying. And I really care about saying that because that period of my life and our lives was truly horrific. And it was a period where it was difficult to stay alive. But I'm really thrilled that I did. So that's what I'm saying.
I'm saying don't die.
Don't die.
Don't try to die. And don't die
What I've noticed is that because Jawbone has published me, It's definitely given my work a credibility. And that has been really significant for me, especially where my work is at the edge of convention, let's say, because I don't shirk from difficult themes. I don't shirk from mental ill health. I don't shirk from encompassing and trying to address things like love and reconciliation and this type of thing. I don't shirk from war.
I don't shirk.
And lots of people I always thought didn't want to know, but I was really wrong about that.
Estelle Phillips is a performance poet and writer. She has a love for nature and humans and the communication between the two. Which is the subject of her podcast Nature Talks With Humans
Jawbone published her first collection “Motherhoodlum” in 2023.
Estelle’s writing pierces taboos of violence and draws the intensity of mother love. A rural landscape emerges through the book. This points to the way of her work; journeying with the natural landscape surrounding her rural home in Wiltshire.
Since childhood I have found solace in the natural world. I am developing my affinity for the land I live in. This shapes my writing.
I rescue worms and spiders. Since wilding my garden I have enjoyed colonies of mint beetles and even glow worms. Hurrah!
In 2024 “The Headless Horseman” was published by Chase & Chalke and Cranborne Chase National Landscape. Estelle has performed at the Royal Albert Hall, Southbank Centre and the BBC. And she was runner up in the Yeovil Literary Prize (Novel).”
Estelle can be found on Instagram, TikTok, Linkedin
Estelle’s Website and Podcast Nature Talks With Humans
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